Amazingly Lost
by bitchenpartygirl
Summary: P L E A S E O P E N *edward & bella* A tear trickled down my faced as I soon realized my case was hopeless-just like me. My silent plea for help eccoed helpless into the lonleyness of the night. Until one day me world was turned upside down by Edward..
1. A Single Shard

**S U M M A R Y -A tear trickled down my faced as a realized my case was was all I thought, until one day my world was turned upside down by a boy named Edward Cullen.I had never been able to show my true feelings, a mixture of fear and relief hit me...**

The rain spat against my window sill almost mocking the tears that slid down my face and sent chills throughout my ridged body. It was just impossibly terrible, why, WHY-why me ?!?! I looked back at the picture on my messy metal nightstand and in one short moment glass screeched and shattered all across my wooden floor halting at the edge of my toe.

With a cry of sharp pain I suddenly sighed in relief as the physical pain unexpectedly numbed my wounded heart. I quickly scooped up the nearest glass shard and put this new theory to the test. With each second I dug the sharp gadget into my skin the pain grew less and less as I drifted into a deep sleep.

I shortly awakened with an earsplitting shriek as my nightmare relived the events of Last Night-Mom walking into my room and yelling at ME that I had "Anger management issues and was a sloppy pig. That I had FUCKED up my life and was useless." She lunged for my chin, only narrowly missing and latched onto my arm sending a shot of intense fear through my whole body. I could take the physical pain but what she did to me mentally was unspeakable doom. I slowly faded back into awareness as I noticed my numb arm. For a second I thought mom had done this but I knew she would never physically hurt me this harshly-only mentally. Even when she had grabbed my arm in the previous night it only faintly hurt, but mentally crushed my brain and left fear in its tracks.

I suddenly noticed the 3 cuts on my arm and broke down into sobs. She was right, SHE was right I was U S L E S S !

Just as I came to the realization of my utter flaw of an existence I heard I quite conversation going on down stairs. I silently tip-toed down stair by stair until my head was crushed against the side rail and I was squatting on my knees.

It was Mom

"She just doesn't understand a thing she thinks she can walk over me like that well that girl has another thing coming. If she wants to see the light of day again she better hide that attitude and learn respect. That useless excess for a damn daughter. Well damn her ! "

I rushed up to my room teary eyed *Why Did I Always Let Her Get To Me* it was useless to try and ignore my agony so I rushed up to my room, slammed the door and grabbed the single broken shard.

**THANKS for reading please please please please please REVIEW !!!**


	2. Waking Nightmare

**Okayy I figured out how to do these thanks- guys don't worry Edwards coming soon okay ! Soon-ish I totally love him && thanks to ****ihatejacob1 ****without which I would have deleted this story******** It's a short I know they will get longer soon ! *JuMps up in excitement* I have it all planned out !**

Utter sadness.

The weight of the world pressed as it crushed down on my shoulders bringing me back to reality for a fraction of a second-just then I felt my nightmare coming fingers trembled and I froze as my worse visions began to unfold.

The quickly approaching footsteps on the stairs haunted me and without a second thought I thrust my body through my closet doors narrowly missing catastrophe with the door. Just then I heard the floorboards creaking and Mom enter my room muttering under her breath.

Everything went neon as my room spun and my grasp on reality started to fade.

Was I in hell yet? I thought to myself numb with pain. Everything began to blur and though I only faintly heard my mom screeching. I jumped at the sound of this monster from hell-I must be dead. Suddenly my head slammed into the wall and this time everything went black.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" I awoke with a sudden fright as the memories of last night fluttered within my head. Trying to keep the pain away I rolled onto my left arm-BIG MISTAKE ! With a thawing pain I lurched up and was faced with my worst nightmare yet

**VERY TEMPTING TO STOP ! But who doesn't hate cliffys *ill try plus shes going to school soon and we all know who she will meet *WINK WINK* **_**Edward Cullen**_

Chills swept through my body as realization came to my brain. The tattered creature-no monster in the mirror was me !?!? How could I hide what had I done I was nothing N O T H I N G.

I was lower than nothing I was a-a _thinG. I spat in disgust as I realized myself for what I truly was- a monster_

There was going to be no hiding this, and why try ?

I quickly grabbed a crumpled paper and brainstormed my options

_I had fallen down a mountain-no to fake_

_I had gotten attaked by a wolf-to unlikely _

_I had tripped on a root in the forest- _Frustrated by my lack of creativity I heaved my pencil through the air. It crashed and crumbled beneath me feet. It was completely horrific excuse-just like me !

"GET YO SELF OUT OF HEAR NOW" I heard my mom belt out

Dazzed, I grabbed my coat and headed out the door for what would no doubt be the worst day of my life-or so I thought

**I KNOW its short but I needed one more chapter of set up before the real stuff begins.i want you to really get to know her first******** but Y A Y *hint hint E D W A R D soon* well please review it would mean so much so much!**

**Pretty please(:**


	3. Dazed And Frazzled

**MMKAYY, haha so I havnt decided if I want the girl to be Bella or some other girl I was thinking NOT bella though, because of course I wouldn't own Bella-but im totally open to suggestions******** ?**

**Aww, and thanks to E V E R Y O N E who read and reviewed it and ESPECIALLY who added it to their favorites**

The nonsensical chattering swirled around me as my car inched slowed to school. It almost seemed to be dreading the coming day as I was. Just then a silver sparkle caught my eye and with the minor distraction my car spun and was nearly inched from crashing into the poll.

And then I saw-them. Erasing my worst nightmare from last night

What else could I say, 4 beautiful angles walking right toward me. Mabey I had crashed, and I wasn't going to hell…but HEAVEN ? My fantasy of escaping my mom was viciously interrupted as a sharp tap echoed from my window. I looked up and moved to unroll my window. With a sudden twist of pain I realized my vision was not coming true as I saw the blood that had soaked through my thin shirt.

Finally, I forcefully lifted my head upward to see what my intruder wanted-it was Jessica.

O F C O U R S E - the school's biggest gossip coming up to me to try and fake-talk so information out of my "almost crash"

That sharp shrilling tap came again but this time prepared for reality I unrolled my window and greeted my supposed friend. We talked for a few minutes when she finally asked the most dreaded question I could possibly thing of.

"Umm what happened to your arm hunny it looks pretty deep?"

"Ohh, th-that ? I just fell on some weeds."

Weeds, WEEDS-_WEEDS _?!?! That was the best I could come up with, I was pathetic ! Nothing, I was a pathetic excuse for nothingness. But at least Jess bought it and I slowly, and carefully pulled up intp the parking space that had caused me so much trouble in the first place.

As I walked to class the only thing I could think about, where who were those angels ? Obviously they were a sign, I mean I had honestly almost killed myself 4 times in the past 24 hours. Something was up, only I was completely clueless as to what it was.

Finally I decided I should put on my coat and hid some of "my accident with weeds." When I thought for sure all my dreams were coming true.

A new, different angel was standing about 10 feet closing in more and more every second. I was sure all my troubles were going to be over and mom earsplitting insults-just going to be a figment of my imagination.

Frazzled- I was jerked up away from my fantasy when the he finally spoke-

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen, are you okay? You seem a bit dazed."

***covers ears as screaming continues*I KNOW its short but Im sick !**

**And I have like no time right now, but I was so happy that I got a few reviews and favorites I decided I owed you guys(: HoNesTLY PLEASE review it will make it come about 10 million times faster. **

**And I really really want to know your opinion bella or NOT ?!?! I need to decide before the next chapter thanks for reading AND reviewing ily33**


	4. Monotone Monster

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen, are you okay? You seem a bit dazed." He said with a twist of agony apparent on his face

"Oh, he-hello im-" I said still obviously *a bit dazed*

"Yes I know bella, are you alright you seem a bit injured mentally and physically?"

He seemed to say_ mentally_ with a little edge and a meaning more so then me just being distracted. With this, my fantasy diminished into a minor spasm of anger. Who was this- this MONSTER and how dare he interrupt my vision and what...insult me ?

He seemed to notice the annoyance on my face, but how couldn't he? Just because he was new here did not give him the right to treat me like some little chew toy. What a dog was all I could think !

As I slowly and painfully picked up my arm and twirled my hair nervously I finally got up the nerve to speak. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I quickly realized how much I truly hated this Edward Cullen. He just stared at me and with a look of disgust, swirled around and in one swift movement was down the hall and out the building.

Well this pretty boy was certainly going to be getting a piece of my mind; he had no right to treat me like this. After everything I had just been through, who did he think he was ?

I shuffled down the hall into my first period class just as the loud bell sounded and everyone took their seats.

The teacher began into an outstretched monotone and I merely drifted on into oblivion. Just then the door flicked open to reveal what I thought to be the shadow of Edward Cullen. And then my true nightmare began

**OKAYY so what did you think ? Haha I have come to the conclusion I like short chapters but idkk that im going to continue on writing fanfics for twilight. I sort of want my own story my own characters, you know ? Well I would love to hear your opions thanks(:**


	5. Reality begins

**MMKAYY-I just realized Ive gotten a million hits I got seventy for the first chapter and only 11 comments. Sorry for the deleyed chapter ive been sick but R&&R for this chapter please please please im going to make a goal 35 comments *before the next chapter* !?!? mmkay thats far-fetch how about 25 !**

I knew it had all I changed, I felt it as he walked in-it was…unknown. The way he looked at me, everything…even his very being affected my every breath

I stared in silence as he majestically glided to the front of the classroom. However, at the time I had no idea that this was truly when everything began.

With a quick turn of his heal and a few long paces he was mysteriously next to me. I thanked the heavens he had come to sit next to me, ME !

Then reality sunk in, I quickly surveyed the room and saw it was the _only_ open seat

_Oh._

Dismay was clear within my face as I turned back to face_ him_. However, the emotion on his face brought shock and anger to my very core. The disappointment and disgust that enveloped his eyes shook me again-with reality. I soon met his gaze and saw the direction of his stares. Out the window and…

OH YES O F C O U R S E- at Jessica. Why did I even bother getting my hopes up, like he would ever ever ever take a second glance at someone like me. The class soon drowned on as the teacher's endless word slipped in and out, just like my betrayed hope.

With an astounding blare the bell rang- and in that instant, he was g-o-n-e

**Hope you enjoyed I know its really really short but I still don't feel well and its been so long since I updated it's a start right ? *nervously a faint smile appears* please R E V I E W ?!**


	6. Please beta read, author note

Hey, I'm so sorry I haven't been updating lately I feel horrible, I am just having a severe case of writers block, probably because I cannot concentrate long enough, I'm REALLY REALLY Sorry ! I am just going through a really hard point in my life, and need all the support I can get. Your understanding and support would be greatly appreciated..I will really try to update soon, I just wanted to let everyone know to PLEASE PLEASE keep reading, I haven't forgotten. And I will try to update as soon as I can and have written something

2. Beta readers- I just heard about them, how can you get them and like what are they. Any volunteers ?

Prettyplease..

Well thanks everyone for all your understanding this story will be updated very soon

Please read and review, you have no idea how much it means

Xoxo,


	7. Shattered Fantasies

**I got one review. Its just that reviews truly bring a smile to my face thanks so M U C H to ****ILYTwilight**** my faithful reviewer. This chapter is for you, it truly means so much to me that you reviewed. To everyone else you added me to their alerts-thanks but please please please review it would mean the world, also trust me my updates will be way quicker never this long. I just felt my story was bad because I only got one review…Sorry It took like a month**

R E A D D D D D- I might just stop updating this story-my first FanFic if I don't get reviews because I sorta feel like its bad now, so this M I G H T be the last chp..please review if you want me to keep ?

**If there is a next chapter, the real action begins E and B talking !**

G-O-N-E just like, goodbye. A sudden chilled draft his my arm as I realized my foolish dreams

It was back to home-back to hell, back to _her._

Well, my angles fantasy was nice for a while, but now it back to the shallow depth of feeling like nothing.

I strolled out of the classroom and into the parking lot completely wrapped around my own selfish pity.

"Beep Beep." I straightened my neck and reached for my door handle as the same chilled draft froze my hand in place.

I moved my gaze upward only to see Edward Cullen standing at me door. He pulled me into a passionate kiss and whispered the words "run away." Into my ear sending several move shivers to overtake me.

My head snapped up just in time to see the football a mere inch from me head. With a smack I was on the floor with my backpack sprawled open, and my fantasy shattered.

I slowly and painfully stood as a shock of pain shot down my leg. However, nothing was more painful then knowing I had my first crush on a boy I could never know. Why would he ever want to talk to me- Isabella Swan?

I quickly erased the previous images from my head and began on my way home to my mother and her foolish games-anything was better than starting to hope for a fantasy that would never come true.

With this realization I lurched into my car and began to let my feelings unfold

_I felt the weight of the world crushing on my shoulder_

_As my silent plea for help faded_

_Just as I did, crying and screaming_

_Let me go LET ME GO_

_The tears trickled they fell down my face_

_Ohh how I wished the pain would fall_

_Or just come out_

_Locked away in my soul it was_

_Growing with more and more power as it threatened_

_It took over_

_The pain enveloped me wholly_

_I gasped exasperated as I realized it was hopeless.._

NO there was more 

_Save me_

_A shrill cry echoed from my heart as I stared _

_It wasn't over not yet_

_The pain didn't win_

_It couldn't_

_Suddenly awakened my fierce cries ripped into view_

_I sat their awe struck as my nightmare began _

_Only the nightmare faded and I was left standing_

_Collapsed on the floor I came- I realized_

_It wasn't a nightmare, it was me _

I was not just a nothing, no because nothing, because nothings caused no harm. I sure as hell was something-a monster

**So What Do You Think ? Should I keep writing or not ? P L E A S E please please review**

**Prettyplease ? Any comments suggestions..**


	8. The End Before It Even Began

**Just when Edward and Bella where about to have their first long conversation (the next chapter)  
**  
A bullet ripped into view, snarling as the wind flew by- a mile per minute. As it came into view I let the thrill overtake me..it was finally over

Just then It when through me, "I am shot" I said to myself as I let my last heart beat fall. I just laid there and died

THE END of my FanFic

**Opinions ? Haha I know this wasn't much of a story but honestly no one reviewed, so I guess I wasn't good, I actually have the next chapter written out like it was lONGG and bxe were talking and It was all the beginning but I got news that this was "sucked and was the worst fanfic" and I sort of agree.. it**

**But yea just let me know watcha think(: ? Should I write a new Fanfic or what ?**


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